Frequently Asked Questions
The length of a divorce depends on several factors, including whether it is contested (where you and your spouse disagree on major issues) or uncontested. In Texas, there is a mandatory 60-day waiting period from the time the divorce petition is filed before the court can grant a divorce. However, if there are disagreements over property, child custody, or other matters, the process can take much longer—sometimes several months to over a year, depending on the complexity and cooperation between both parties.
Texas is a community property state, which means that most property acquired during the marriage belongs to both spouses equally. In a divorce, the court aims to divide the community property in a manner that is “just and right.” This does not always mean a 50/50 split. The court may consider factors such as each spouse’s earning potential, the length of the marriage, contributions to the marriage, and who will have primary custody of the children when determining how to divide assets.
The cost of a divorce varies widely depending on the complexity of the case. For an uncontested divorce (where both parties agree on all major issues), the cost may be relatively low, covering filing fees and basic attorney services. For a contested divorce, where there are disagreements over assets, custody, or support, the cost can rise significantly due to legal fees, court costs, and expert evaluations. Costs may range from a few thousand dollars to tens of thousands for more complex cases.
In Texas, child support is typically calculated based on the non-custodial parent’s net income (after taxes and certain deductions). The standard guideline is:
• One child: 20% of net income
• Two children: 25% of net income
• Three children: 30% of net income
Four Children: 35% of net income
However, these guidelines can be adjusted based on the needs of the child and other circumstances, such as medical expenses or the child’s standard of living.
In Texas, child custody (known as conservatorship) is decided based on the best interests of the child. The court generally prefers to have both parents involved in the child’s life and will often award joint managing conservatorship, where both parents share decision-making responsibilities. However, the primary residence, visitation schedules, and other specifics will be determined based on factors such as each parent’s ability to care for the child, the child’s emotional needs, and any history of family violence or abuse.
Yes, child support can be modified if there has been a substantial change in circumstances, such as a significant change in either parent’s income, the needs of the child, or changes in custody arrangements. Either parent can request a modification through the court, and a judge will evaluate whether the change is justified.
Yes, a custody order can be modified if there has been a material and substantial change in circumstances since the last order. This could include a change in the child’s living situation, a parent’s ability to care for the child, or the child’s preferences (especially as they get older). As with any family law matter, the court will base its decision on what is in the best interest of the child.
If you are in immediate danger of family violence, you can request a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) or a Protective Order from the court. To do this, you need to file an application with the court explaining why you feel threatened or unsafe. The court can grant a temporary order very quickly (sometimes the same day), and later, there will be a hearing to decide whether to make it permanent (for up to two years). A protective order can restrict your spouse from contacting or coming near you.
If you are facing abuse, your immediate safety is the priority. You can seek a Protective Order, which can require your spouse or partner to stay away from you, your home, and your workplace. You should also contact law enforcement and consider staying in a safe place, like a shelter or with family. Texas courts take domestic violence very seriously and can factor this into decisions regarding child custody and divorce.
Both parents in Texas have rights and responsibilities when it comes to their children. As a father or mother, you generally have the right to seek custody, visitation, and decision-making authority over your child. If you are the non-custodial parent, you typically have the right to visitation and to stay informed about your child’s health, education, and welfare. Texas courts aim to provide both parents with a meaningful relationship with their children unless there is a good reason (such as abuse or neglect) to limit one parent’s access.
Dealing with a narcissist in a divorce or custody battle can be especially challenging due to their manipulative behaviors, lack of empathy, and desire to control situations. Narcissists often view divorce as a battle to win rather than a process to resolve, which can make negotiations difficult. Here are strategies to handle this situation effectively:
1. Focus on Documentation
Narcissists may manipulate or distort the truth, so document everything:
• Keep a detailed record of all interactions, including emails, texts, and conversations.
• Track instances of manipulation, threats, or actions that show harmful behavior, especially toward your children.
• Maintain a calendar of events related to child custody, such as missed visitations or inappropriate behavior.
This documentation will be valuable in court, helping to show patterns of manipulation or uncooperative behavior.
2. Set Firm Boundaries
Narcissists thrive on control and emotional reactions. To counter this, establish and maintain clear boundaries:
• Limit communication to written forms (emails or texts) to reduce the chance for manipulation or emotional abuse.
• Stay calm and refuse to engage in emotional arguments. Narcissists often try to provoke reactions to use against you.
• Avoid responding to personal attacks, instead focus on legal and factual matters.
3. Use a Parenting Plan
When children are involved, it’s crucial to have a detailed parenting plan that leaves little room for manipulation:
• Ensure the parenting plan clearly outlines visitation schedules, decision-making authority, and responsibilities.
• Make the plan specific to reduce the narcissist’s ability to twist or bend the rules.
• Seek court enforcement when the other party violates the agreement.
4. Consider Parallel Parenting
In high-conflict situations, parallel parenting may be more effective than traditional co-parenting. Parallel parenting minimizes direct contact between parents, reducing opportunities for conflict. The approach allows each parent to manage their own time with the child with minimal interference from the other parent, following a structured schedule.
5. Involve Professionals
Narcissists may try to manipulate court proceedings, so having professionals involved can help expose their behavior:
• Therapists or custody evaluators can provide insights into the narcissist’s behavior and its impact on children.
• A guardian ad litem or child custody evaluator may be appointed by the court to make recommendations regarding the child’s best interests, which can reduce the narcissist’s ability to influence the outcome.
• Mediation is not always effective with narcissists, but in some cases, mediators skilled in high-conflict divorce can help structure communication and negotiations.
6. Do Not Expect Them to Change
Understand that a narcissist is unlikely to change or compromise. Instead, focus on your legal strategy and what is in the best interest of your children. Keep your expectations realistic and avoid trying to “win” or change their mindset.
7. Keep Your Emotions in Check
Narcissists often try to escalate conflict and provoke emotional reactions. It’s essential to:
• Stay emotionally grounded and avoid getting drawn into their manipulations.
• Have a support system in place (friends, family, or a therapist) to help manage the stress.
• Avoid making impulsive decisions based on anger or frustration. Stay focused on long-term goals, especially regarding your children’s welfare.
8. Rely on Your Legal Team
Your lawyer will play a critical role in helping you manage the narcissist’s tactics. Work closely with them to:
• Prepare a strong case based on facts and evidence rather than emotions.
• Ensure all agreements are legally enforceable and leave minimal room for manipulation.
• Request appropriate court orders, such as temporary orders to ensure protection for yourself and your children during the process.
9. Ask for Psychological Evaluation
In extreme cases, if you believe your spouse’s behavior is seriously affecting the children or the divorce process, you can request a psychological evaluation. This can provide the court with a clearer picture of how the narcissist’s behavior may impact the children or the fairness of the divorce process.
10. Take Care of Yourself
Divorcing a narcissist can be emotionally exhausting. Make self-care a priority:
• Seek counseling or therapy to help manage the emotional toll of the process.
• Stay physically and mentally healthy to remain resilient during what can be a lengthy and stressful battle.
• Join support groups for people who have dealt with narcissistic abuse, where you can share experiences and learn from others who have faced similar challenges.
Dealing with a narcissist in divorce or custody battles requires a strong legal strategy, emotional resilience, and a clear focus on the well-being of your children. Stay organized, focused, and rely on professionals to guide you through the process while protecting your rights and those of your children.